6 POSITIVE QUESTIONS FOR SELF-EXPLORATION

Self-exploration is innate to us all. We all wonder at times who we really are, where we are headed, why we are here, what we stand for in our community and what is the significance of our uniqueness. We are all different like snowflakes and flowers so there is not one way or one tool that can light the way for everyone. There are tools and methods however that work universally and general, soft, nice and easy questions are a good tool to start the self-discovery journey.

Self discovery questions are thought provoking. Questions are like a big reflector and when you ask them you kind of put the light over one aspect of your personality. That focus of attention can feel good or bad and the reason for it is not the question. That feeling bad is what we fear in the beginning, because most of the self is dark undiscovered territory and who knows what will be revealed? Remember the question is just a reflector. What it reveals is there anyway.

Self-discovery is not so much about what you see when the light goes over that area of the self, rather about how you explain to yourself what you see. You want to discover that process of story telling in your self as a start. And when you understand that you can change that explanation without changing the realness of the facts and feel better you are already way along the way.

But let’s start at the beginning. These questions are simple and easy on purpose because self discovery like all discovery is a process. I have personally found that is better to start easy and light hearted, do fun questionnaires, personality test, read about your astrological sign, answer self-discovery questions and progress slowly slowly into a deeper, more complex understanding of who we really are. Our personality has layers over layers and reveals it’s magnificence gradually.

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Types of answers and how to interpret them

NOTE : I didn’t share only the questions but I gave a short guide to interpreting the answers that are coming up. Why? I found thousands of self-discovery question lists online and I did answer many of such question, but without understanding what those answers mean the lists seemed rather useless. Example: Your favorite actor? x. Okie Dokie. How I know more about myself now than I did before? For this you want to interpret the answer. Interpreting means taking this peace of info and analyzing it from different directions: What attitudes and characteristics does this actor represent that I resonate with most? Is it the looks, the confidence, the celebrity? Why I consider these traits respectable?

Answering self-discovery questions is a great way to start a conversation with yourself not just with others. There is time and place for fun and light questions that are simple to answer, and there is time to ask deeper questions that necessitates a more complex answer and understanding. Asking the right questions is key for developing a good relationship with others and with yourself but interpreting the answer is even more important.

Questions are a usefull tool when you can get an answer to them and you might notice even at this lighthearted, simple level that you don’t always get answers. A not answered question is maybe as important as the ones that you can easily answer.

Some questions will result in direct easy answers. These reflect areas where you are good with yourself. When answers come easy it means that there is no blockage psychologically. It is either about personality traits that you know that you have and you like them or things that resonate with you. Things that you consider good, respectable, nice and you don’t consider the attention as an attack.

In some areas the attention will be considered as an attack by some part of your ego/ self/ personality. It shows that you have gone too fast & too far. You have discovered some false beliefs you have about yourself but the illusion is considered by you beneficial or protective. No matter how strange it seems but basically this reveals that You don’t want to conversate with Yourself about these topics. This can result in a joke appearing in your mental conversation instead of an answer, or a question like what is this stupid question. You can feel like you just blank out and don’t know the answer. Even to simple questions about movies, music you can totally block and have a non-answer. Stay observant to these kind of reactions but at this level it is best to either seek the most general answer you can get or leave them out all together and move to the next one.

You can return to the whole list occasionally or just to the un-answered questions and see which are the questions that seemed difficult or uncomfortable to answer. What is common about them? What areas of life do they belong to and what are they bringing into focus? I encourage journaling all over my blog because it helps me answer many of such questions. Journaling can help you explore your thinking and story telling processes in the intimacy of your own attention.

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The list of self-discovery starter questions

1. What is your favorite part of the day?
2. What would a typical day look like in an ideal world for you? How do you spend your days in the real world?
3. What are people always surprised to discover about you?
4. If you could only change the personality of 2 people you regularly meet, who would they be?
5. If you could only eat 4 types of foods for the rest of your life what would they be?
6. If you had three wishes now that would be fulfilled by this time next year, what would they be?

1. What is your favorite part of the day?

Simple as it seems this question reveals a lot about your personality and what you enjoy doing. It is a subtle way to ask What you enjoy doing the most? What makes you happy? What are the things that give you the most joy and satisfaction? The favorite part of the day will be mostly when you are involved with the people you like and you are doing something you are interested in, passionate about or something that just gives you a really good feeling. It reveals what you are doing when you are feeling good during the day. For some people the favorite part is when they are working, for others it is the dinner time with their family. Some people like most the simplicity of the morning hours, being alone, reading and planning. Others favor the cuddling time in front of the TV in the evening hours. Some enjoy staying up late playing, working on the computer. There are various answers and as a true explorer let the answer reveal itself, let it unfold. It can tell a lot about what makes you really happy and where are your key values.

Take note that if the favorite part of the day is about relaxing and relief rather than joy and satisfaction than you might be currently trying too hard in some area of your life. If resting gives you the most satisfaction right now it is good to ask yourself where am I efforting in life? Or asking in a lighter way: what is the part of the day I am least looking forward to?

2. What does a typical week look like for you in an ideal world? What does a typical week look like for you in the real world?

The ideal day, ideal week type of self-discovery question is a question about vision. It is a question about how you imagine your life. The first thing to notice here is if you have a vision at all or not. Those who have a clear vision and goals they can answer this question quickly. Those who haven’t yet spent the time to really clarify what they want will answer it in a foggy way. You kind of know things but not really. So if you haven’t ventured yet in the territory of visualizing your dreams, answering this question helps a lot to clarify some goals in some areas of your life.

It is easier to answer this question if you break it into parts. I prefer asking it about a week rather than just a day because many important goals necessitate weekly inputs rather than daily ones. But if you find it easier just go for visualizing one ideal typical day. How do you feel on the ideal typical day? ( relaxed, happy, satisfied, free) Where do you live? Why do you live there? Who are you living with? When you wake up? How much you sleep? How much you work? Why you work that much or that little? Who are you working with? Where do you typically eat your meals? Who are you eating with? Do you exercise regularly? What form of exercise are you into? ( walking, running, yoga, tennis, etc.)Why do you exercise? How much you relax? What is your choice of relaxation? Do you do something creative that people don’t really know about you? You can even go into more details if it feels right: like how you dress? What you drive? What furniture you have in your home?

The last part of this segment of self discovery is to ask yourself the same questions about your current life. Where you are is where you are. It doesn’t have to disappoint you but it can serve as starting point to locate you on this vision map. How big is the gap? Many people realize that they aren’t as far from their ideal life as they initially thought. Many aspects are already working well and pretty close to what they really want.

3. What are people most surprised to find out about you?

This question addresses the issues of how we see ourselves and how we think other see us. This is another way of asking How would you describe yourself? What do you represent? What do you want to embody? If others described you what do you think they would all say about you? The answer to this question reveals how you relate in general to people and what you tell to yourself about how others see you. This might not coincide how they actually see you but it coincides to your own story about them.

It says a lot about the should and shouldn’t aspects of society integrated in your personality. If you answer that they are surprised that you are kind or funny or loving, than you might think that you should be funnier, smarter, etc. You can go one step further with self-discovery if you ask relative to this question also if you like that they are surprised about you or not? Would you prefer them knowing more of your true qualities and skills? Why do you think you are hiding those aspects of yourself?

3. If you could only change the personality of 2 people you regularly meet, who would they be?

This self-discovery question is about the people in your life that you don’t want to be around. Write down the names of the two most important people who are regularly, typically leaving you feeling uncomfortable about yourself, deenergized, negative after meeting them. People are important factors in our life and discovering who isn’t a good match to you right now is as important as finding those who are. Not all your relationships can be only positive and energizing but it is good to clarify which relationships do not serve you right now and do something to minimize the interactions at least temporarily.

Answering this question is important on many levels. Fist it is important to know who are draining your energies, de-empowering you and set a little distance so that you can refill. I am not suggesting running away however. Cause people are important teachers and they are there because we are in the process of learning something. What characteristics you don’t like about them? What is the opposite of those characteristics? How do you feel around them? (scared, angry, ashamed) How would they be if they had those opposite characteristics? Would you feel better around them? How?

It is important to realize that the way you relate to people is one of the critical aspects of where you are in life. Learning more about the people in your life, who you spend the most time with, what you do and if that time benefits you or not on the long run are good self-discovery topics to spend more thoughts on.

4. If you could only eat 4 types of foods for the rest of your life what would they be?

It is a little reflection about your diet and general health. It is a question that asks you basically to reconsider how you eat. Food is another important aspect of our life and the way we eat is an important point to focus on and clarify. Are you eating healthy or inattentive? What is your ideal diet? What do you need to eat to achieve your ideal weight, fitness, vitality?

Without health and vitality life isn’t much fun. We live in a physical world and our body needs attention as much as our mind or emotions. The health of the body starts with the foods we eat. This question invites you to discover which are the main foods that benefit your health and think of ways to include them daily in your diet. It is interesting to see what comes naturally to your mind: is it 3 healthy meals and 2 treats or is it all process food. Did you choose ‘bread, meat, cookies, diary and chocolate’ or ‘ veggies, fruits, nuts, some grains and fish’. Why? Why would you choose those?

11.If you had three wishes now, that would be fulfilled by this time next year, what would they be?

What opportunities are you looking for? What are your 3 biggest goals and dreams right now? What’s the top 3 priority in your life right now? If you are new to self-discovery topics or if you are a real explorer you can play a little game. You can ask yourself what is the craziest, biggest things you want to be realized in a year? Write them down. Than ask yourself what are the dreams that you actually believe can be realized in one year? Believe at least 50-60%. Is there a big difference? Are the real versions of the dream smaller parts of the big vision or are they unrelated things? Once finished with selecting the 3 best things to realize next year there is an important last question to ask. Why do you want that? how do these goals benefit you?

CONCLUSIONS

Self-discovery is a process and knowing who you are more clearly can improve many areas of your life. Questions are a great way to peak behind the scenes of your personality and reveal some aspect of yourself that where hidden before.

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Images: P1-creativeart, P2- wayhomestudio